Loss and bereavement

Your changing emotions

Losing someone close to you is a highly traumatic event. Although each person will deal with loss in their own way, there are several recognisable emotions and reactions that people go through. This is an entirely normal part of grieving.

You may think you should be able to cope, especially if the death was expected, but you still find you can't. You may think you've done all your grieving and then find you haven't. You may think that having other people who care for you will make everything alright but it doesn't. If other people were not aware of the nature of your relationship with the deceased you may feel excluded.

Anger is a common part of grieving - anger at yourself, anger at the person who died, anger at friends and family, anger at the system and/or anger at your God. Talking helps. Allow yourself to express your feelings and talk about the person who has died. Dealing with the practical aspects involved when someone dies can also help.

Being practical

There are a number of practical things to be done following a death. If you can, ask a family member or friend to help.

• A Doctor will need to issue a death certificate.
• You should appoint a funeral director to make the arrangements. You may be entitled to help with funeral expenses.
• You must register the death within five days. You need to take the death certificate with you.
• Tell family members, friends and colleagues.
• There may be organisations to notify.

If the deceased was receiving welfare benefits you should inform the Benefits Office. Other organisations to inform are the DVLA, the UK Passport Agency, the Inland Revenue and any Bank or Building Societies.

You may also need to contact their personal or occupational pension provider, insurance companies, mortgage provider, housing association or council housing office, social care services and utility suppliers.